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John 3:16..."For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish(meaning hell) but have ETERNAL LIFE"!!! ( meaning eternal life in HEAVEN WITH HIM, in peace, joy, no pain, no sin, no sorrow, no mourning, all that and so much more,) I LOVE THAT!! IT'S MY HOPE AND MY PROMISE!!
It's very hard to write something of this nature. You are putting yourself out there. Opening up things you have struggled with in your lifetime. Many people don't like to do that. I need you to know that I have been compelled to do so for a long time. Years, to be honest. I am just finally listening to the "Still small voice within me". This voice became very loud during our granddaughter Kaelee's fight with brain cancer. Absolutely nothing in my life was more profound or harder than holding her hand for the year she fought that battle. Her body gave up in our arms, but her soul lives on and now lives with Christ. Her testimony of faith was so strong for that entire year that it effected our entire community and even beyond that. She did not have one shred of doubt that she was going to Heaven and why she was going. I cannot describe the presence of peace we had in this house. It was not a place of death, but a sancturary of God's presence. It was supernatural, it changed us. We will never be the same as we were.
So with that being said, how could I possibly remain silent. When we have a visit like that from Heaven itself.........how could we possibly go on like we did before. I don't even want to try to be like I was before. That is why I can keep going with my story, our story. Once again my life has changed.
Back to my story....
After 7 or 8 years of falling around with blinders on, I came to a point where I thought I might literally lose my mind. Because I was raised the way I was, the guilt of living the way I had become was too much to bear. I didn't know how to get out because doing so would probably mean losing the man I love and everyone else. Yet the pull of God was too strong to resist. It was Christmas night, 1975 , I was 25 years old. After falling apart emotionally , I drove myself home to my mom, who never ceased praying for me. As I wept for hours, she held me in her arms and rocked me like a little baby. The judge part of my mom was gone that night and all that I felt was her deep love for me. She said "DeeDee, you have to stop, why are you running so hard from God, He's going to catch you anyway. Just give up and ask Him to come into your heart and change your life". I knew without doubting that she was right and it would be my only escape from the life I had created for myself. So right there on my moms couch, I confessed to my Savior that I knew I was a sinner and that I could never have peace with God until he forgave me, I knew I couldn't do life alone anymore so I gave my life to Jesus Christ, not even knowing what would lie ahead for me. I knew what He had done on the cross was for me. It was mine for the asking. I knew I was right in my decision, and no matter what would come I would follow Him. I have never looked back. My life and my entire way of thinking was soon to become very different. I had never experienced such a sense of true love and forgiveness.
Glenn was at the same point in his life. He also had been raised in a very good home with strong Christian principles. We were causing our families alot of grief. It wasn't long and he asked the same of Jesus. We then got up on Sunday mornings and Glenn would go to the Catholic church to worship and I would go to the Reformed church to worship. Well that didn't work out so we had to come together on things. We have fumbled and fallen so much along the way,butfter nearly 46 (WOW) years we are still together, still walking with the Lord and constantly stumbling over ourselves. Rivers of water have gone under our bridge. I might add that it hasn't been a slow steady stream all the time either. Sometimes it was and probably always will be, like white water rafting, just hang on tight until you get through it............